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At Black & Pink, we coordinate a nationwide PenPal program in which we match incarcerated LGBTQIA2S+ people and people living with HIV/AIDS with PenPals who correspond, build relationships, and participate in harm reduction and affirmation. For an incarcerated LGBTQIA2S+ person, corresponding with someone on a regular basis is itself a harm reduction strategy, giving that person a support network outside of prison.

How To Be An Awesome PenPal!

Below, we’ve compiled three things for you to review before you selected incarcerated penpals and begin writing.
We all really appreciate you taking a few moments to read through the information below.

Thoughts to consider when writing to someone who is incarcerated:
Adapted from the guidelines created for the Write to Win Collective and the Prisoner Correspondence Project

1. Why do I want to write to someone in prison?

It’s really important that we all take some time to ask ourselves what we want to get out of this penpal friendship. It is absolutely okay to not have a full articulated answer, but it is good to ask yourself what your motivations are. We all carry our own assumptions and need to continuously challenge them. Ask yourself what assumptions you might have about people who are incarcerated and how that might impact the way you write. These are good conversations to have with others who are also penpals. Check out our Black & Pink PenPal Support Group on Facebook.

2. What is my capacity?

For many incarcerated people, receiving one or two letters from someone promising to correspond regularly but failing to follow up with further correspondence can be incredibly difficult. Being a penpal doesn’t have to be an intense time commitment; letters can be as long or as short as you want them to be. Please be upfront about the regularity that you will be able to write. We suggest writing at least twice per month. If your capacity is only once a month, let them know. At this time, we have restricted our outside penpals to selecting two incarcerated penpals, to help ensure that frequent communication with one or two penpals occurs.

3. How might I deal with hearing about the prison system?

Writing with folks in prison can often lead to an intense learning experience about what incarceration really means for those navigating the prison system in the US. It’s important to have support systems to deal with the stories of trauma you might hear. It is also very helpful to share these revelations with your community to deconstruct what you learn and how you might participate unwittingly in the system. Individual penpal relationships can sometimes lead to a desire to do far more advocacy for that individual or to abolish the system as a whole. We can succeed far more when we work to navigate this world together.

Important Things to Know When Writing:

Reply letters might take a while

Some of the reply letters from your penpals might be sent after a considerable delay, one of the infinite awful aspects of prison. If you don’t hear back from the person you’re corresponding with within 4 to 6 weeks, it is possible that they have been transferred or released. Black & Pink staff and volunteers attempt to update our incarcerated members’ addresses regularly; those updates will be reflected monthly on this penpal site, so look at your Current Penpals information. If this is the case, get in touch so we can help to locate the correspondent’s current contact information.

Openness about LGBTQ identities

Mail Call often happens in public spaces in the prison. When someone hears their name called by a prison guard during Mail Call it is a reminder that people on the outside care about that person. It is also a message to the guards and other incarcerated people that this person has support and is not forgotten. This can be a vital harm reduction strategy for people who are locked up, especially queer and transgender folks.

Building validating relationships

Do not speak down to, discriminate against, shame, or condescend your penpals. We are about building relationships and validating that our struggles as people of color, activists, sex workers, youth workers, immigrants, anti-capitalist, trans, queer, gender-nonconforming people are intricately connected with prison abolition and liberation. Please be conscious and aware of power dynamics and actively seek support around the acknowledgment and eradication of these dynamics in your correspondence.

Setting boundaries

Remember to be transparent about your own boundaries, and respecting boundaries that your penpal has set. Please voice any concerns you have with your penpal in a loving and affirming way, and try to receive feedback that they give you. If for any reason you are not comfortable, or can no longer engage with your penpal, please let Black & Pink know.

Your personal information

This may include your ability to disclose any personal information about yourself in your correspondence (i.e.—immigrant status, age, history of incarceration, sexual preferences, etc.). It is not unusual for mail to be screened by prisons and jails, so please keep your own safety in mind.

Funds

This might include requests for funds or other forms of support. Penpals are not required to send funds. If you decide to send packages or funds to their commissary, be clear about the amounts and frequency you are commiting to, and reflect on how it might impact your penpal dynamic.

Romantic or sexual letters

There might be some letters which feel flirtatious or sexual. Your safety and comfort are your own, so if you’re okay with sexy letters, keep writing them! If you aren’t, please respond respectfully and firmly to your penpal.

Write Your Penpal!

Determining how you will write your penpal

Below, we describe options for writing letters via “Snail Mail” or messages via online services. If you are not located in the US, we recommend an online mail service. Remember that whatever you write will be read by staff in the mail rooms-- so skip the escape plans :)

Online mail services

JMail.cc

Jmail will print and mail your message to your penpal for about $1 per letter. Your penpal writes to their address, and they will email you a scan of their reply letter for about $1 per letter, plus $25 annual fee.

Corrlinks

Incarcerated members in Federal prisons can access this basic email service. It will email you when you have a message in your inbox. (Note that most of Black & Pink’s incarcerated members, and likely your penpal, are in State prisons where Corrlinks does not work.)

JPay

JPay works in many prison systems. JPay has two modes, depending on the prison:
1) You and your penpal message back and forth using their email-like service, costing about 50 cents per message. Some penpals will have access to a tablet to reply.
2) You send a message to your penpal. The mail room then prints out the message and within 2 days and gives it to your penpal. Your penpal will then send you a reply letter in the mail.

Access Corrections

SecureMail at Access Corrections allows you to message your penpal back and forth for a fee.

“Snail Mail”

Letter vs Postcard vs Card

An envelope with a letter on normal paper is the safest bet.The rules around acceptable mail vary widely. Some prison systems, like Texas, have decided to ban all postcards and greeting cards as a way to prevent drugs… Some won’t accept construction paper, or mailing labels, or glitter. Pennsylvania scans all mail in a facility in Florida and then prints it.

Typed vs Handwritten

You will see on this website that some incarcerated members have indicated that they need to receive typed letters, perhaps due to a reading or vision impairment. Otherwise, handwritten letters should be fine! Some prisons don’t allow the use of markers, crayons etc., so writing with a pen or pencil is the safest bet.

Your Incarcerated PenPal’s Legal Name

Typically, prisons require legal first and last names to be used on envelopes. When you select a penpal on this website, their preferred name for letters is written at the top of their profile, and their legal name for envelopes is included in the address block. In your first letter, confirm the name and pronouns your penpal wants when addressing envelopes and writing letters.

Return address options

Be sure to include your return address in the letter (some inside members do not receive the envelope). Many of us feel nervous about sharing personal information with brand new people in our lives and that is quite reasonable. However, we recognize that there is extra stigma around sharing information with incarcerated people. We encourage everyone to do what feels right and best for themselves while at the same time looking deeper at what is causing fear, and work on that as we build our movement towards abolition. In general, we encourage people to use their home address and to take time to question where these anxieties are coming from. If you are not willing to share your address with your penpal, you can get a PO box, or use an online service.

Your Name, Address, and Introduction

Use your first and last name in your letters. It might be useful to say in the first letter that you found out about the person through the Black & Pink website. Be sure to place your address both in the letter and on the return address piece of the envelope, as some prisons do not allow the envelope to be given to the prisoner. Know that prison guards often read the mail and, unfortunately, can censor things.

Format the address for an envelope

Please remember to include your return address on the envelope and the letter itself. You should write the letter itself to your penpal’s preferred name.

Legal First Name    Legal Last Name    #Number
Cell/Bunk Location  (optional, if given after the number)
Facility Name 
PO Box # or Street Address
City, State Zip
Example of Legal name Gerry on envelope &
Preferred name Cynthia in letter:
Gerry Richards #F05C56
B1 Lower
Polunsky Unit
3872 FM 350 South
Livingston, TX 77351-8580

“Dear Cynthia,”
...

Find A PenPal!

The Black & Pink National Family thanks you!